The one constant thing in our life is change. Just take a look around, who would have known a few months ago that you’d have to be staying at home all the time, canceling all your trips and events because of the outbreak of coronavirus?
We cannot avoid change. The more we resist it, the tougher our life becomes. So instead of avoiding it, ask "how can I change my life?"
Trust me, I know this because I was very skilled at deflecting change in my life. We are surrounded by change and it is the one thing that has the most dramatic impact on our lives. Change has the ability to catch up with you at some point in your life. There is no avoiding it because it will find you, challenge you, and force you to reconsider how you live your life.
Change can come into our lives as a result of a crisis, as a result of choice or by chance. In either situation we are all faced with having to make a choice – do we make the change or not? I believe it is always better to make changes in your life when you choose to rather than being forced to.
We however cannot avoid the unexpected events (crisis) in our lives because it is these events that challenge our complacency in life. What we can control when we are experiencing these challenging events, is how we choose to respond to them.
It is our power of choice that enables us to activate positive change in our lives.
Acting on our power of choice provides us with more opportunity to change our lives for the better. The more opportunities we create to change our lives the more fulfilled and happier our lives become.
So, how to change your life? Here are a few things that have helped me evolve during lockdown and I know can help change your life, for the good.
Create a Dream Board (here's mine)
When we were children, we would daydream all the time. We were skilled at dreaming and visualising what we would be when we grew up. We believed that anything was possible.
As we grew into adults, we lost our ability to dream. Our dreams became hidden and the feeling of achieving our dreams was impossible.
A dream board is a great way to start believing in your own dreams again. Seeing and visualising our dreams every day brings them to life. Our dreams become real and we start to have belief in the possibility of achieving these. Visualisation is a powerful practice when done everyday. I love to do visualisation meditations in the morning which starts my day on a high.
Try to Do the Really Scary Things
This is all about you choosing to step out of your comfort zone.
I was sitting at my kitchen table in front of the microphone, squeezing my eyes shut and grinding down on my teeth. My heart was pumping, and I was taking deep breaths in an attempt to cultivate a shred of calmness.
I hit “stop” on the audio recording, deleted the file, closed my computer, and this happened about 50 times... and I hadn't even finished recording the first episode.
Podcasting might feel natural for some people, but for me, it was like squeezing into a pair of shoes that were two sizes too small. It was incredibly uncomfortable. Every step felt unpleasant, but, I kept trying to find ways of making the shoes (AKA my podcast) fit.
I am still nervous when I speak, however, it is an excited nervousness, and I love it. I love sharing my experience, knowledge and having the best of the best professionals in the health, beauty and wellness industry on the show.
Now, get that notepad out and make a list of scary things that you would kind of like to do but are too afraid to do. Put a plan in place and then go do them. Never stop doing scary things because if you do your life will become one of complacency and comfort.
I have other big plans coming soon!
My Favourite 6 Minute Daily Diary
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Accept Yourself
The only person who is going to create change in your life is you! And to create that change you have to love yourself.
There will be times in your life where you will face rejection and there will be people who will challenge you. Accepting who you are and loving yourself helps you to move forward in your life. Putting yourself down all the time and wishing you could be better will only lead you to a life of unhappiness and discontent.
Find your courage, love yourself and step out and do something crazy. Don’t worry about what anyone thinks or whether it is the right thing to do. In your heart if it feels right, act on it and go create the life you love that is full of abundance.
Learn to Say No
I am a sucker for saying yes. Sometimes I even find myself thinking “no, no, no, no” and then I blurt out “yes”.
Why is it so difficult to say the word “no”? It’s just a word, right?
After feeling trapped for some time by my excessive urge to be agreeable, it got me thinking. I asked myself why it was so important for me to please everyone, to the point that I would feel resentful and stressed because of it. I realised I was afraid of saying no because my biggest fear is rejection. I was afraid that every time I did this, I would disappoint someone, make them angry, hurt their feelings, or appear unkind or rude.
Having people think negatively of me is the ultimate rejection. And so I realised exactly why I found it so difficult to say no. I realise this is not just a challenge that I face, but one that many people go through every day. It’s a heavy burden to carry because with the urge to say yes also comes a lack of self-confidence and self-value.
If, like me, you’re having trouble saying no, this may help. Just remember, saying no does not make you a bad person.
Helpful Tips for Saying No
Be direct, such as "no, I can’t" or "no, I don’t want to"
Don’t apologise or feel obliged to give all sorts of reasons.
Remember that it is better to say no now than be resentful later.
Be polite, such as "Thanks for asking".
Practice saying no. Imagine a scenario and then practice saying no either by yourself or with a friend. This will get you feeling a lot more comfortable with saying no.
Don’t say "I’ll think about it" if you don’t want to do it. This will just prolong the situation and make you feel even more stressed.
Remember that your self-worth does not depend on how much you do for other people.
Learning to say no has been one of the best things I have done for myself. Not only has it challenged me to overcome my fear of rejection, it has helped me to feel in control.
I don’t feel trapped, resentful, or guilty anymore. Instead, I feel empowered and free.
If you want that same feeling of freedom and empowerment, then take control, challenge yourself, and learn to say no.
DID YOU LEARN OR TRY ANYTHING NEW OVER LOCKDOWN? I’D LOVE TO KNOW IN THE COMMENTS BELOW!